Music by Eugene Friesen; poetry by Phillip Levine
Still emerging, having learned how to breathe under water…
locked up tight
like a cloister door
a splinter of light
opens the sky
a crack before
the nurse with red hair
is there with your
for God’s sake
close the door and
put on your clothes
I wake to doze while
beyond the walls
…someone is on your side, no one is alone…
What loneliness is more lonely than distrust? – George Eliot
Three years ago – a little more than 1 month sober – I was in a mental hospital after a suicide attempt. I was pretty sure I could fool the people there into thinking I was ok, get out, and do the job right the next time.
This morning at one of my favorite AA meetings, I saw a woman I met at that hospital. She caught my eye and we smiled at each other across the room. We spoke for a few moments after the meeting and hugged.
She looked healthy, happy and I could see that she thought the same about me.
I have not forgotten all that I did in the past. I did all that, yes. Today, my addictions do not define me.
Thank you, Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank God.